No excuses...

March 30, 2012

Today, family and friends are celebrating the life of my oldest dearest friend, Brooke Kawalek, who lost her amazing 15 month battle to cancer in January this year. I like to say that we've been friends since our dad's were in Kindergarten. They grew up together in Canton, Massachusettes and at 18 years old decided to hitch hike across the country to Los Angeles. I was born in April of 1976 and while my mom was in the hospital with me, her mom whispered in her ear that she was pregnant! 9 months later, my best friend was born. Brooke and I started our lives in Manhattan Beach, California. My family moved to Northern California when I was not quite 2 years old. 4 years later, Brooke's family followed. We attended the same elementary school but parted ways in Junior High and High School. I left for college at Oregon State in 1994 and in 1995, guess who joined me? Brookie! She lived in the dorms for one term and then she and I found our very first apartment together. It was in what we like to call "the hood" of Corvallis. We had a blast living together and even dated best friends, both named Ben. We finished college and moved to different places. Eventually we wound up back where we started. Not for long though because she met her future husband, Mike and moved off to Minnesota to be closer to him. I also met my future husband, Neil and we moved to New York City before we eventually, (after many stops along the way) wound up on the Central Coast of California. 

I unfortunately, am not able to be at her celebration because I am on an airplane. To where? You ask. Hawaii!! Yep, me, my girls, my sister, her 3 kids and our mom are all off on a fun filled very deserved vacation! It is bitter sweet to not be able to be at the celebration, BUT I was with her for her last days and I was there at the first celebration of life. As she was here with me for Neil's last days and celebration of his life. So, I know she knows I love her dearly and am celebrating her life every day. I WOD'd for her today and kicked some pretty nice booty if I do say so myself!

Today's WOD was the CrossFit Open 13.4 and I was scared. In 7 minutes, we had to clean and jerk 95 pounds and do toes to bar. First round was 3 of each, then 6, then 9 and so on until the time limit was up. I have never jerked 95 lbs and I was really debating on going or not. I'm a little sensitive these days and failure is not something I take lightly. I was going to skip and use the excuse of "too busy packing" to get out of it. Something in my brain clicked last night and I texted my sister to see if she'd babysit so I could go WOD at 9 am. It was a yes, so I put myself to bed (half packed) and slept like a champ! I texted my best friend, Murray, on the way to the Box and she said she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to come. I told her to suck it up (maybe used a few more words than that) forget her shower and put a hat on and I'd be by in 5 minutes to pick her up. I didn't even have to knock on the door and she was ready! We got to the box and started the warm up. I was super energetic and could feel Brookie with me as we started loading the bar and warming up our clean and jerks. 45 pounds, piece of cake. 75 lbs, up and over! Ok, 95 lbs were staring at me. I had to try it before the WOD began, so I did and I DID IT!! I was stoked! That was my only goal., to get the 95 pounds up at least once! There are so many amazing people at my box and I could hear the screams and cheers while I busted out the first 3! Ok, toes to bar. Bam, did it! Now on to 6 C&J's. Did it! Back to bar 6 TTB's. Hands were sweaty, started to slip, chalked up and got back on the bar. Finished those! By now, I was shaking, exhausted and shocked that I'd completed 18 reps. I was quite proud of myself at this point. The clock was ticking down and Katie stepped in and started coaching me. I focused on what she said and completed 6 more clean and jerks for a total of 24 reps. When the WOD was over, Die Young by Kesha came on and that is the song we play for Brookie. I know she was there with me today and helped me conquer this challenge.

I am proud of myself for the PR of 95 pounds but I'm more proud of myself for not using the packing excuse to not do something that I was scared of! 

As my trainer likes to say "Excuses or Results….You can only choose one!" 

Split Jerked that Baby!

I chose results!

Toes to Bar!

I believe I'm done here! 24 reps!

3 Weeks In

Three weeks ago, I made a decision to really commit to something I love. Crossfit.  My best friend Katie started to crossfit in summer of 2011. I watched her body transform before my eyes, BUT as her body shrunk and toned, her self esteem grew. It was awesome. I was envious. My very first WOD was on Thanksgiving in 2011. It was awesome. I fell in love with it instantly. Not just the workout but the trainers, too. High fives and fist pumps each time they saw me was enough for me to think, "hey, this is pretty cool" I started coming more regularly in January of 2012. Katie and I signed up for the open and then she had a stroke. It threw me for a loop and I dropped out when she did. Meanwhile, my business was growing rapidly and I couldn't fit the box class times in to my schedule. On July 26, 2012, my life changed wholly and completely when my husband passed away unexpectedly. I found myself back in the box about a month or two later. I had a lot of angry energy and it was a great place to use it in a positive manner. Then the sadness hit and I backed away again. All the while, I was never looked down on or turned away when I'd come by. I'd drive by the box and peek in wishing I was in there, but just wasn't ready mentally to add anything to my plate. Owner and trainer, Chad kept encouraging me and saying "when you're ready, come back." In January, my father in law died and two weeks later my best friend of 36 years lost her battle to Stage 4 Melanoma. Her death hit me harder than anything. I found myself self destructing with my diet and sleep. Then one day after a night of drinking way too much, I decided it was time to go back. That was a little over 3 weeks ago. It's hard to make changes during a fragile time in your life, but I already felt a family vibe from the group of people who work out at my box and knew it was the place to go for help. 

After two days of being back in the Box (that's what crossfit gyms are called) I signed my outta shape butt up for the 2013 Crossfit Open. Why on earth would I do that? Because I can. I'm alive and I'm not going to pass up opportunities like this. I'm doing it for me to see how hard I can push myself. This was the 3rd WOD (workout of the day) for the Open. It was 150 wallballs, 90 double unders and 30 muscle ups in 12 minutes, then start over if you had time. My goal was 65 wallballs. The ball is 14 lbs and I did not want to set a goal too high that I couldn't reach because I'd had a very emotional sad week as it was and didn't want to be disappointed. I crushed my goal and hit 125 wallballs! I couldn't be prouder! Now on to Week 4!