Guess what?? It's Fall!
And I just have to say...
I'M EXCITED FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
Wait, no. That's a lie.
A big
fat
lie.
And I'm pretty sure, I'm not alone.
I've come to the realization that I WISH I was excited about the holidays. I really do! I even start October excited! Excited about everything that's to come! Everyone should love the holidays right? I wish and pretend and suck it up and probably fake it so well that no one realizes how much I dislike this time of year. It's crazy just how much it exhausts me to my core.
I want to be excited about it. I want to love it. I participate in all the activities. I dress the part, I go to the parades, I decorate. I smile. But it's JUST NOT THE SAME. It never will be again. I know this. I do. But as the season has already begun, the ache in my heart is definitely here, reminding me of what I have lost.
And this year seems to be the hardest one yet.
You see, we are approaching our 5th holiday season without...
Without Neil.
Without daddy.
Without my husband.
Without a Christmas Santa shopping partner.
Without the warm legs to stick my cold feet under.
Without a football watcher on Turkey Day.
Without the home feeling as cozy as I want it to.
Without without without.
Jeesh, that's a lot of withouts.
SO, in true Kelly fashion, I try to find the joy within all my "withouts." I remind myself that yes, Neil's still here with us, even if only in spirit. Yes, I have plenty of shopping partners, yes, my dad loves to watch football with me, too and yes, I have a very cozy home. I see that. I know that. I force myself to see all this happy through the sadness.
I have been blessed with some pretty amazing friends who've helped me through the years, probably without even knowing just how much! So here's a few ideas for you to help a fellow holiday struggler get through this wonderful time of year.
1. Have patience. For the love of everything that is holy, have patience with them. There are so many triggers this time of year, it's an accomplishment just to get through a week without some sort of breakdown. Sometimes it's difficult to smile.
2. Offer to go Christmas shopping with them. A little back up doesn't hurt and shopping is always more enjoyable with a good friend around.
3. If they have children, offer to take the kids shopping for a present for them. Especially if they're not old enough to go off on their own.
4. Invite them over for dinner. And if they refuse, don't be upset and don't stop inviting them. This goes along with the patience. Have some. They should come around eventually.
5. Invite yourself over to their house for dinner and help them make it cozy.
6. Visit them if they are out of town.
7. Invite them out for a visit. Even if they say no, letting them know they're wanted is huge.
8. Help them start new traditions. Find a local "Turkey Trot" or "Christmas 5K". Go to the light festivals or holiday parades. And don't forget to take tissues.
9. Help them find some joy. If they're your friend, you should know what makes them tick, help them keep ticking.
Good luck to everyone out there who struggles just a bit more this time of year.
You can do this.
You will get through this.
Take one day at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time.
In through your nose, out through your mouth.
Ok?
Ok, so here we go. Let's do this.
Happy Holidays 2016!
