Four years.
He's been gone four years.
These are the words that go through my head when it's quiet.
P was four when he died.
She's eight.
P has now lived the same amount of time without him as she did with him. Actually, she's lived longer now.
Ugh.
That one's hard to swallow.
July 26 came and went this year and we, again, got through it with family and friends.
I am well aware of what the date is and when it's coming but somehow without announcing it to my children, they know, too. They are a tad crankier. They are more emotional during the days. More attached to me during the nights. It's like their little internal clocks know.
And like every year so far, the week or two leading up to it is usually tougher for me. Those are the days that have the good memories.
The good memories that now start with "The last time..."
The last time we went to LegoLand. The last camping trip in Northern California. The last visit to Disneyland. His last golf game.
And then the memories for me turn to July 24.
This is the day he began dying. The night I found him.
To the 25th....
This is the day we spent in the hospital by his side praying he'd show some sort of sign that he was still in there.
To the 26th....
The day he left this earth and became an angel. We call it Daddy's Angel Birthday.
We bbq'd for Daddy's 4th Angel Birthday this year and invited both old and new friends to join us.
We were surrounded by so much love and the day will forever be etched into my memory. I am so thankful for everyone who has helped us along the way on this journey without Neil.
If this week were to be remembered by your loved ones with "The Last Time..." what would you do different?
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| The Last Family Photo |
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| The Last Vegas Trip |
