So, nine years ago today, I married my best friend. A little over 8 months ago, he died suddenly from arrhythmia and heart failure. It's been a crazy year with more loss than I'd like to think about and sometimes I think I may still be in shock, but then I think, maybe I have accepted what is and am determined to move forward and raise my girls in a loving, confident and happy life. We still grieve for daddy and cry for him weekly. We talk about him and Marley even woke up the other night crying out for him. But we don't sit around the house unhappy. We do things we enjoy, we smile, we laugh and we are making memories along the way.
Which brings me to this post. We are in Hawaii! After Neil passed, my attorney suggested I do something fun with the girls when all the crappy paper work was done. (it's not quite done, but I am close and I wanted to do something special for my anniversary!) And trust me, the paperwork when your spouse dies, SUCKS!
We went to a Luau last night and have been swimming and shopping a lot! I also crossed off a bucket list item of Stand Up Paddleboarding! I am addicted! It's so awesome. I may have to look into it more since I live at the ocean!
Anyways, I had a bunch of ideas of what to type today and find myself sitting here with writers block. Maybe it'll come to me later or maybe it's gone for good. Either way, I'm ok with it. I bought myself an anniversary present. When my nephew and I snuck out yesterday to go to the International Marketplace, he wanted to Pick a Pearl....so of course, I got sucked in to doing it as well and then we got "2 free picks" (she was quite the saleswoman) Anyways, we got one white, one lavender and two black pearls! It was pretty fun and I absolutely love black pearls so I put it in a ring. It fits right up next to my wedding band. I don't wear my diamond engagement ring anymore. Not 100% sure why. It's actually kind of painful for me to wear it. Reminds me of what I don't have anymore. I didn't wear my band for a while, but now I do, and it's ok that it reminds me of what I had. Here's a few pics of the trip so far. Loving this trip and the amazing memories we are making!
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| Stand Up Paddleboarding with the girls! Bucket List! |
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| My anniversary gift to myself. |
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| At the Luau |
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| Making memories |
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