The past few years have not only been tough on me, but on them as well. I can't imagine watching my girls go through similar experiences when they are my age. On top of our family aches and pains, they watched their best friends' daughter lose her battle to cancer at way too young of an age.
It's definitely not what any parent hopes for their children. And somedays I can see what it has done to my parents. My mom cries sometimes. Especially when I am having a rough day. She tells me it kills her to see me so unhappy. I try explaining that I'm not unhappy, I just get sad sometimes. To me, there is a huge difference. I am a very happy person. I love my kids, my friends, my job and living! I have a wonderful life. Sure, it's been tough, but I am most definitely not unhappy. I understand what she means, though. When she's having a bad day, she sees how I run my life differently than she did when she was my age. For example, my laundry will go a week before I even touch it, dishes may stay in the sink for days and believe it or not, not a single bed will be made for quite some time.
We recently had a heart to heart talk and it dawned on me, why I do things differently. I am in a completely different role than she was when she was my age. She was a stay at home mom, and had a husband who helped support the family and raise the kids. She started working when I was in high school. But just because I am a single mom with a full time business who doesn't do laundry daily or keep a spotless house, doesn't mean my parents haven't taught me anything. They've taught me plenty and they're two of the reason's why I survive what life hands me and continue moving forward. So, this is for them!
What my parents have taught me:
My mom, aka GG, raised me to never give up, especially during hard times. She spent much of her adult life taking care of her dying dad, her aging grandmother and then her aging mother and she never gave up. She sacrificed so much and, though it was difficult, she did it. I think that's one reason why I'm dubbed as "strong" by so many who know me. I learned from the best. Her advice? "Breathe" That is what she would tell me as a child whenever I was sad or scared or upset. "Breathe, Kel, in through your nose, out through your mouth." And that is what I continue doing when times get hard.
My dad, aka, Dooda, taught me how to laugh at life. He's always cracking jokes and making light of many situations. He has funny names for everything and often has people around him smiling. And every now and then, I let that side slip out of me.
My mom also taught me how to clean a house. How to really clean. Do I do it every day? No, but when I do, I do a darn good job at it. I get in all the cracks and crannies and it usually ends up taking much longer than I had planned because I have to get all of it! I move the knick knacks and dust under them, I lift the ottoman and vacuum under, I take the stove apart and scrub. And I learned this from her. I remember helping her in the 5th - 8th grade. She and her friend would clean houses and she'd pay me and a friend $2 a house to help! It was awesome. I remember vacuuming our way out of the house so there would be no footprints when the family returned home. I always thought that was so cool.
I love that my dad taught me about sports. I'm definitely proud to say I know what a first down is, how to dribble a basketball or hit a golf ball and of course, how to fish. I can sit and watch sports on tv and actually know what's going on. I even enjoy it! I remember playing HORSE in the front yard for hours with my dad and sister and still love sitting in the boat from sun up to well into the evening chatting and laughing with dad trying to catch fish.
I also learned how to cook from both of them. I didn't do much of it in the past because when no one in the house will eat the food you cook, it gets boring and feels like a waste of time. But now that my girls are good eaters, I have been doing more of it. And know who to ask if I need help with any recipes.
And lastly, how to be a good mom... and a good dad. I am extremely proud of the young ladies I am raising. Even with all the pain they've experienced, the girls are respectful and caring and compassionate and that is something I'm very proud of. They are also learning about sports and how not to give up once they've made a commitment. And I wouldn't be able to do it this well without the help of my parents. I'm sure I make mistakes but I am so lucky to have the love and support from two of the awesomest parents I know.
These are just a few of the gifts my parents have taught me. So mom and dad, thank you. I know I do things a little different than you did, but just know that at the root of all my being, your lessons will always help guide me.
{{Huge hugs to you, your parents, and your girls}} You are right, of course. Your parents rock. (And frankly, so do all parents who do their best, which is most of them.)
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